Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I do...(remember this is only humor...)

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She : Dear !!

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to top!!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I
know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my
crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and
change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser,
I paid 12,000= to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me
a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Sunday, May 6, 2007

All in the name of being cool...

Leroy from Port Antonio always wanted to look cool.
His friend told
him that he needed a good designer
pair of sneakers
to go with his sweat-suit.

Leroy saved up
all his pay slips and all the money
he got back from
returning his empty bottles of Red
Stripe and
finally managed to get himself a pair of
brilliant white
sneakers to go with his sweat-suit.

Proudly, he
strutted down the street calling out to
all the passers
by "See meh new sneakers dem?
Cool, eh?"

One fine
upstanding gentleman pointed out that
they were indeed
a fine pair of sneakers but was
young Leroy aware
that he had a lace undone?

Leroy scornfully
retorted that it was part of being
cool to have a
trailing lace and that on the bottom
of the sneakers
there were instructions for the
wearer to only
have one lace tied.

When asked for
proof of this instruction, Leroy
took off his
sneakers and held it upside down for
the disbeliever
to read.
"There y'are! It
clearly says ...


Thursday, March 29, 2007

Some thing about living in 2007

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Sunday, March 25, 2007