This had me in stitches!

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When
it became apparent
that we would marry, I relaxed and enjoyed the ecstasy
of the friendship.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down
on the way home from
work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my
husband and told him
that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my
way, I passed by a
small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than
I could stand. With
miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
effects by the time I
reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I
knew it, I had consumed
three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I
made sure that I
released ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me
and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner
tonight!"

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the
dinner table. I took a
seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold,
the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned and went

to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me
and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out
of the room I seized
the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let
one go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in
front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap
and fanned the air
around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three
more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in
the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the
telephone farewells
signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the
air a few more times
with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my
hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when
my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
peeked through the
blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve
dinner guests seated
around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build

the "house" you live in tomorrow.Build wisely!